“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand…there is no going back?”
― Frodo Baggins, The Return of the King
I finished a Lord of the Rings marathon back in August as I was introducing my mom to the movies, which she loved to pieces. She even teared up at the end, which, believe me, is a HUGE deal coming from her as she is not the easiest person to impress when it comes to movies.
But now watching Lord of the Rings for the first time in a while moved me all over again. Having just graduated from college, I have to adjust to a whole new stage of my life, and that feeling of not being able to go back to a time I loved is summed up perfectly in this bittersweet quote.
So I started painting.
For my materials, I used burnt umber and white (as usual), on thick-ish white paper. There was no choice, as I was painting directly into my precious quote book. Sure, the oil from the paint is going to eat through this paper someday, but oh well, this painting can be eaten up in 10 years for all I care. The process of making it is what makes me happy, not the end product.
Now this took a lot more work than I thought it would, or should, considering I was copying it from a film still…but still that DAMN ARCHITECTURE. The dimensions of a Hobbit hole sure is baffling. Even now, the chair looks wonky, the tonal values lack the atmosphere and mood it needs, and there’s something that’s nagging me I can’t put my finger on. I will have to let it sit for a few weeks before I tackle this painting again.
But now, here’s to change.
The Lord of the Rings was published 1937-1949, and the film trilogy was completed from 2001-2003. So much changes with time, and it is hard to comprehend the passage of time until much later when that bittersweet melancholy hits you all at once.
So what’s the best way to deal with it? Accept it. Cry, shed a few tears, move on. Find new things to cherish. Actively go out and meet new people. Don’t regret later on that you didn’t properly live out the now, which is still so full of potential to be amazing.
I’m at a crossroad in my life right now. And sure, it’s a difficult time. But in 10 years, I will look fondly back upon my tattered, oil-eaten painting of this Hobbit hole, and remember today, October 15, 2015. And I will say, “What a beautiful time of my life that was.”