In my opinion, a bookworm’s greatest cause for consternation is being at a loss for which book to read next.

You’ve become lost in the woods, despondent, and desperately searching for your path when the big, bad wolf shows up in the form of a bestseller list and offers a helping paw. And in relief, you gratefully take it.

Well to that I say bah humbug.

I can’t remember for the life of me the last time that I actually enjoyed reading a bestseller book, and yet I can remember all those times that I came away feeling disappointed. So many bestseller books make it to the top of the list because they offer cheap drama and entertainment, and I abhor such books.

Now I’m not talking about the kind of books that get the National Book Award or the Pulitzer Prize–most of those are legit. But the books that have “New York Times Bestseller List” embossed proudly on covers are the true duds and are alarms for me to stay away from them.

After all, “bestseller” simply is the equivalent of People’s Choice Awards, and that sadly means poo to literature. And as harsh as this might sound, you can’t really trust the mass when it comes to reading.

“You’re too picky about what you read.” “You haven’t read the good bestsellers.” Well, I’m not saying there aren’t some genuinely good books on these bestseller lists too. But my gripe is, why do so MUCH of the bad stuff make it onto these lists as well?  

Twilight, The Da Vinci Code, Girl With a Dragon Tattoo, 50 Shades of Gray, goddamn Snooki, the Kardashians….it leaves you wondering who in God’s mercy authorized these books to be published. misleading lists in the first place. Because it’s evident that these sales are misleading people into buying crappy books, and even MORE people into thinking they might be actually good.

Then on the other hand, it’s really up to us not to buy into that hype. Sure, we can point fingers and blame the bestseller lists for “promoting the wrong books” or “getting things wrong.” But in their defense, they’re only stating facts. They’re showing us what we’re buying, and the fact of the matter is, WE’RE the ones buying into this hype. We’re the ones spending the money and getting those books up there on those lists.

So let’s take bestsellers lists with a grain of salt. A grain of sodium. A grain of chlorine. A grain of atom. Let’s just not take them very seriously.

Now as a blogger, I would love to rant about these really bad books on my blog. I’m often at a loss as to what to write about next, and these bestseller books would be the perfect ammunition to build a rant section around.

Unfortunately, I’m very good at committing unpleasant memories to the amnesia sector of my brain, and so wouldn’t be able to tell you about these books even if I wanted to. So thanks, horrible bestsellers, you’re useless to me either way. Now stay away from me for the rest of my miserable life.