In light of the fact that the Fantastic Beasts movie has just been released, I’m finally doing a follow-up to my post on the Funniest Moments From Harry Potter, which is long overdue. I mean, it’s been 8 months since I promised a follow-up, and only now I’m getting to it! Yikes.
But you know how the routine goes: life gets in the way, you need to eat and sleep, dog peed on my homework, blah blah blah…but I’m not so lazy that I’M NOT GOING TO WATCH FANTASTIC BEASTS IN THEATERS TODAY! Oh yeah, I’m planning on going today, so a review’s probably in order soon; I have soooo much to say on this 5-movie ordeal.
But for now, enjoy these funny moments from Harry Potter, and hope you get a laugh or two out of this today:) Cheers!
“I’m not going to be murdered,’ Harry said out loud.
“That’s the spirit, dear,’ said his mirror sleepily.
Mrs. Weasley was marching across the yard scattering chickens, and for a short, plump, kind-faced woman, it was remarkable how much she looked like a saber-toothed tiger.
“Professor Dumbledore – yesterday, when I was having my Divination exam, Professor Trelawney went very – very strange.”
“Indeed?” said Dumbledore. “Er – stranger than usual, you mean?”
“You’re alive,” she said blankly to Harry.
“There’s no need to sound so disappointed,” he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.
“Oh, well…I’d just been thinking…if you had died, you’d have been welcome to share my toilet,” said Myrtle, blushing silver.
By the time they had reached the dungeons, neither Harry nor Ron was speaking to Hermione. Undeterred, she took advantage of their silence to maintain an uninterrupted flow of dire warnings, all uttered under her breath in a vehement hiss that caused Seamus to waste five whole minutes checking his cauldron for leaks.
“The Imperius Curse can be fought, and I’ll be teaching you how, but it takes real strength of character, and not everyone’s got it. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!” he barked, and everyone jumped.
“I would assume you were going to offer me refreshments,” said Dumbledore to Uncle Vernon, “but the evidence thus far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness.”
“Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!” said Hermione. “We didn’t hear stories like that when we were little, we heard ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ and ‘Cinderella’—“
“What’s that, an illness?”
“YOU CHEATING SCUM!” Lee Jordan was howling into the megaphone, dancing out of Professor McGonagall’s reach. “YOU FILTHY, CHEATING B —”
Professor McGonagall didn’t even bother to tell him off. She was actually shaking her finger in Malfoy’s direction, her hat had fallen off, and she too was shouting furiously.
Percy had what were possibly the least helpful words of comfort. “They made a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you Harry, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” he said seriously. “All right, the sweetshop’s rather good, and Zonko’s Joke Shop’s frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack is always worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you’re not missing anything.”
The teachers were of course forbidden from mentioning the interview in The Quibbler by Educational Decree Number Twenty-six, but they found ways to express their feelings about it all the same. Professor Sprout awarded Gryffindor twenty points when Harry passed her a watering can; a beaming Professor Flitwick pressed a box of squeaking sugar mice on him at the end of Charms, said, “Shh!” and hurried away; and Professor Trelawney broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced to the startled class, and a very disapproving Umbridge, that Harry was not going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister for Magic and have twelve children.
[Nearly Headless Nick] “…I would rather die than betray his trust.”
“That’s not saying much, seeing as you’re already dead,” Ron observed.
“Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe,” said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones.
Professor Trelawny shrieked. “My dears! Which of you left his seat first? Which?”
“Dunno,” said Ron, looking uneasily at Harry.
“I doubt it will make much difference,” said Professor McGonagall coldly, “unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the Entrance Hall.”
Even Ron laughed. Professor Trelawney looked highly affronted.
“Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape,” said Lockhart, flashing a wide smile. “He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don’t want any of you youngsters to worry – you’ll still have your Potions master when I’m through with him, never fear!”
Snape’s upper lip was curling. Harry wondered why Lockhart was still smiling; if Snape had been looking at him like that he’d have been running as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
As they climbed the staircase, the photos of various Healers called out to them, diagnosing odd complaints and suggesting horrible remedies. Ron was seriously affronted when a medieval wizard called out that he clearly had a bad case of spattergroit.
“And what’s that supposed to be?” he asked angrily, as the Healer pursued him through six more portraits, shoving the occupants out of the way.
“’Tis a most grievous affliction of the skin, young master, that will leave you pockmarked and more gruesome even than you are now—”
“Watch who you’re calling gruesome!”
“The only remedy is to take the liver of a toad, bind it tight about your throat, stand naked by the full moon in a barrel of eels’ eyes—”
“I have not got spattergroit!”
“But the unsightly blemishes upon your visage, young master —”
“From now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell ‘Die, Ron, Die,’ I’m chucking them in the bin where they belong.” –Ron Weasley
The acting in this scene is so awkward, it unintentionally adds to the humor lol. And I love how Mr. Weasley excuses himself to give Ginny and Harry some space, but then Ron jumps in there to do the exact opposite….hahaha brotherly issuesXD
“Whatevs, now you know.”
Pfft Maggie Smith makes me crack up every single time. I think she, Rupert Grint, and Alan Rickman make the comedic heart of this franchise:D
Kenneth Branagh is HILARIOUS as Lockhart. His overexaggerated grin at the beginning of this scene makes me crack up every time. And Ron’s horrified expression…XD
Live soap opera
The funniest aspect of this scene is the fact that Dumbledore and Snape are simply watching this drama unfold before them with an air of interest and confusion. Hahaha and Alan Rickman’s disapproving face cracks me up.
Yes, yes it is, but it doesn’t matter because ALAN RICKMAN!!!!
Turn around you lunatic!
Ron and food–this perfectly sums up my own relationship with food.
Professor McGonagall’s “particular proclivity” is for alliterations. Remember her quote “babbling, bumbling, band of baboons” quote from Goblet of Fire?
So any moments that I forgot? Let me know what your favorite funny moments were from this series!
(But seriously, you have no idea how hard it was to edit this list down. SO MANY FUNNY CHOICES!!!! Whew, the pain and joy of a Potterhead…)